Here I am in my room again

May 29, 1945 (Tuesday morning)

Dearest husband Perry,

Well here I am in my new home. It's such a pleasant, neat room. I know I shall like it here. Last night I moved some of my things over here and spent my first night. I was a little lonesome and tired too so went to bed early. I'm writing you this morning before I go to work.

I had a letter from your mother and father yesterday. Each of them wrote such sweet letters. I enjoy them so much. I think they are two wonderful people.

"Mom busy as usual taking down the laundry
from the roof of Ione Apartments, Los Angeles"

It's so quiet here. It is so crowded and confusing at Mother's place lately. (She is surely being kept busy with that baby, etc. Emily is there too till she can get over the flu.) But I am really going to enjoy being alone in my own little room I think. Everything is in cream colors--the furniture, walls, and curtains. The ceiling is blue. I have a double bed, a dressing table with a nice mirror, a chest of drawers, a bed table with a lamp (I put my radio on this table too). There are two windows and another in the closet.

Oh, Perry, I am so anxious for you to come back and spend some time here with me. I keep thinking maybe you will. You see, Viola got a letter today from Ora (her boyfriend). He is now in San Francisco. She is hoping she will get to see him soon. He's going to call her. (He is on an APA too). How wonderful it would be if you could come back for awhile and I could see you too. My darling, I pray for that. But most of all I pray that the war will soon end so you and I could have our own little home. I love you dearest husband. Your own, Gene

May 29, 1945 (Tuesday evening)

Dearest lover husband,

Here I am in my room again. I worked all day alone. Today Viola called saying she wouldn't come in cause she had work to do at home. She is expecting Avanelle and Spence home tonight and is doing some last minute things for them in their little house. She is hoping to hear from Ora too, soon. How excited I would be if I knew you were somewhere here in the states so close.

Leora Fast on babysitting duty

It was an awful cold day today. It was so cloudy it almost rained! ha. Tomorrow is Memorial Day and most places will be closed for the day. We are too. I guess the defense plants are working all day however. Think I'll get busy tomorrow and move the remainder of my things from Mother's apartment over here. That will be quite a job as I have collected so many things since living there, especially since I became "Mrs. Manwaring." Oh, my lover, do you know how proud I am of my new name? I like to have people say "Mrs. Manwaring!" It's such a beautiful name.

I'm sitting by my little dressing table while I write you. I have our wedding picture beside me. I like to look at it and dream. Wish I could have gotten a letter today from my sweetheart. That reminds me Perry, my address here is 335 W. 27th St. but I would rather receive my mail at Mother's place cause it will be handier. I will always go there first for dinner every night when I come home before coming here.

But darling, if by any chance your ship would bring you into a harbor close by and you were allowed a leave to come home, and if it were at night when you came, I would want you to come directly to 335 W. 27th St. (between Grand and Flower.) Walk in and up the stairs, turn right and walk to end of hall where you will see a door with a big number 3 on it--that's my room. And oh my dearest husband, I'll be right here waiting for you. Do you know something? I love you, I love you so very much.

I want to take a bath and go to bed soon, so goodnight, my darling, sweet dreams. God bless you and protect you from harm. I pray that He might bring you back soon. Always your devoted, Gene

The following is an entry from Perry's journal containing some memories of his life during this time:


"At this time [after the invasion of Okinawa] we received orders to go back to the United States. Our squadron commander was on the cruiser Indianapolis. We were not out very far when we received a signal from the Indianapolis to cease zigzagging. Our immediate response was happiness because that meant we could travel faster, although that was fraught with danger. We arrived in San Francisco some time in May in 1945. I managed to get word to Gene that I was in San Francisco and expressed my hope that she could meet me there at a prearranged place at the Navy landing. Poor Gene was so discouraged when I finally met her there. She had ridden a bus from Los Angeles and had just been sitting there for hours watching all the sailors go by. When she saw me, she broke into tears.

We spent several days and nights together there in San Francisco. When I left her one morning, I was fully expecting to be back by the next day, but, alas, the Navy had other plans. When I arrived at the ship, they were already making plans to pull out. I was desperate. I didn't know what to do. My wife was in a hotel room expecting to see me come back, and I had no way of getting a message to her. I mentioned my problem to the executive officers and other officers and they only shook their heads and shrugged as if to say, "That's your problem." I finally decided to go to the chaplain to see if I couldn't get off the ship long enough to make a phone call. His response was almost the same, but he did say he had an assistant who would be going ashore to pick up some films and maybe he could make the phone call for me. I went immediately to the chaplain's assistant and told him my predicament, and he agreed to make a phone call for me."

June 8, 1945 (Friday morning)

Dearest sweetheart husband,

Well here I am back in my little room again. Darling, after you left me Tuesday morning, I put my hair up and went back to bed. I slept some, but toward 10 or 11 o'clock I was awake and decided I would stay in the room till you had called me. Naturally when the telephone rang, I thought it was you, but when I heard the voice I knew it wasn't, and I knew also that your ship was leaving. I wish you could have delivered your message yourself darling, but whoever it was you entrusted your message to was very kind. I liked his voice. I didn't cry, Perry, tho I could have. I remembered you asked me not to.

I knelt immediately and spoke a prayer. His spirit was surely with me then, Perry, for I felt so comforted and strengthened. I knew that our casual goodbye that morning had been the right way. I want to always (when I leave you) be expecting to see you very soon. It must be that way, dearest, for I cannot live without you. Oh, my Perry, I love you so. I called the bus station and found there was one leaving at 1:00 o'clock. So I packed all my things. (Golly, it's a good thing we got that box, Perry. I filled it full.) Then I checked out. They charged us for 6 days. (They surely went fast.) $18.00 but that wasn't bad, was it?

The bus wasn't a bit crowded. I had a whole seat all to myself. I got here at 5:00 am yesterday. I was quite tired and slept most of morning at Mother's. Spent rest of the day with her helping with the baby. Mother is so tired by end of day. Emily and I will eat our dinners out we have all decided. Last night Nellie and Emily and I had a nice dinner over on Figueroa and then Nellie and I went to chorus practice. Everyone seems to have known about us being in San Francisco and all asked about you, darling. I also found out that Viola had gone there too. She left the day after I did I think. I don't know if she is back yet or not. I'm anxious to see her again. Maybe they got married.

Oh, Perry, Emily is teasing me. She says she just knows I'm going to have a baby. I don't say anything, I just laugh. But oh, my dearest Perry, I am hoping that it really will be so. I want a baby now more than ever. It thrilled me so when you told me you wanted one. Oh, Perry, I would be so happy if I knew I could find a little place somewhere in Utah to live with my baby. My happiest dream and my every prayer is that you will be here to take me back to a little home somewhere there.

Surely these things will come to us in time. I know they will. Write me soon, Perry. I want to know what you are thinking too. Take care of yourself, darling. God bless you and protect you. I love you dearest. Your own, gene

I'll never let a day go by without writing you

May 21, 1945 (Monday evening)

Dearest Sweetheart Perry,

I know what it is to be disappointed in not receiving a letter from the one you love. I wanted one so badly today, but didn't get it. Your last letter upset me so. Dearest husband, are you angry with me? Oh please tell me you are not. Please love me and forgive me for not writing you when I should have. I'm writing you everyday now. I'll never let a day go by without writing you--it's a promise I've made even in my prayers. Perry, I must have your love always and forever for without it I would surely die. I love you so Perry.

Visited Pierce Fast recently, my mother's only living brother,
accompanied by my own dear brother, Jan Manwaring.
We had a wonderful time talking about the past
and present while catching up on all the family news.

Today was such a beautiful warm summer day. Made me wish I could be out all day, but of course I worked instead. Mother had a letter from Pierce today--one he had written on VE-day. He said they took it very calmly over there too. Guess we all did. Emily says Dick tells her he thinks the war with the Japs will be over in six months. So many people are saying that. Wouldn't that be wonderful if it did happen that quickly? Guess they are being very optimistic tho.

I'll go to bed early tonight cause I'm still awful tired from the weekend. My prayers are with you always, sweetheart. God bless you and be with you always. Please write soon, darling. Your own devoted wife, Gene

May 22, 1945 (Tuesday evening)

Dearest husband Perry,

There was no letter from you today either. I wanted one so very much. I have a feeling that perhaps you have gone out again. Oh, my sweetheart, if you have, I hope you received some of my letters first. And I do hope I hear from you soon. I've been praying all day for you and telling our Heavenly Father how I want you and long for you.  I pray for your safety and speedy return always. Please write me, my darling, and put my mind more at ease. I want to know what you are thinking and what you think of me.

Tonight I am at Emily's and Ricky's place. She wanted me to stay all night with her. It's the first time. We have done an awful lot of talking too. It seems we'll never run down. Today was another beautiful day. Viola and I worked till 4:00 pm. Starting work earlier cause of the sun. Must go to bed now, Sweetheart. Sweet dreams. I love you, Perry, always and forever. Your very own, Gene

(Wednesday morning early)

Hello Sweetheart,

I dreamed about you last night. It was about our honeymoon. Can't remember much about it now tho. Emily and I were awakened very early this morning by the baby. He is an early riser. I dressed him and brought him over to the house while Emily went on to work. She leaves at 7:30. Now I have fed him and Mother is bathing him. I must hurry off to work now. You know something, I'm learning an awful lot about babies--how to dress them, feed them, bath them and put them to bed, etc. Think I'm getting some pretty good experiences, don't you?

Will write you again tonight, darling. Hope there will be a letter waiting for me too. All my love, Gene

May 23, 1945 (Wednesday evening)

My sweetheart husband,

This is the third day with no mail from you. It seems rather ironic. Guess I had it coming to me, but I don't dare read your last letter cause in it you are scolding me so. Please write me soon, darling. Tell me you are not angry with me anymore. Do you still love me, Perry? Tell me you do or my heart will break. There are times when I feel as though I can't go on without you. Since your last letter that made me cry so, I have been praying constantly for strength to endure and patience to wait.

Emily wants to go to a show tonight. She is putting the baby to sleep here first. They'll have to stay with us tonight then. We are gong to see "God is my Copilot." Think it's supposed to be a good show. You see the reason I go out when I can is cause I get so lonesome and blue, sweetheart. I can't enjoy myself like I would if I were with you, but I know I shouldn't stay home all the time.

Oh my Perry, I love you so and want you so. You know what is in my heart and what I long for. I want you and our little home and children--our children. Then I shall be the happiest woman in this whole world. Dearest husband, do you pray for this as I do. It is what you want too, isn't it?

God bless you always, my husband. I love you Perry. Your devoted wife, Gene

My 25, 1945 (Friday morning)

My sweet husband Perry,

Darling, I received 4 letters from you in yesterday afternoon's mail.  I was a pretty happy girl reading those sweet words. So many questions were answered. I knelt and thanked the dear Father in Heaven. His spirit is with us always, darling. And I know it won't be long till you will be here with me again, and we will see the fulfillment of those wonderful things that were promised us.

Oh my sweetheart, you do love me and your words of love thrilled me so. Perry, you are the dearest husband in this whole world. I just know it. I hope you will not have to wait too long for mail. I am writing you every day, Perry. I'm so glad you can write every day too. I know our letters can't always be so long, but that doesn't matter. If I can get a letter from you for every day, the time will pass quicker and easier and I will know you are all right.

I went to chorus last night with Nellie. It was a wonderful practice. I really enjoyed it. Was so tired when I came home, I had to go straight to bed, promising myself I would write you first thing this morning. At lunch time Viola and I go across the street to Barker Brothers. It's a big, beautiful store and inside on the first floor they have an organ. The organist plays for one hour at noon everyday. The music is so lovely and pretty. We sit there and listen and I think of you all the while. Yesterday his last song was "Always." I like that song.

I must run along to work now or Viola will think I'm not coming. I'll write you again tonight or in the morning, darling. I love you, Perry. Always your own, Gene

Guess I'm not a very enthusiastic sailor

May 18, 1945

My Darling and Lovely Wife,

Here I am again with not much more time than before. I don't think this will last long though. I should soon be able to take time to really concentrate when I write you. Anyway, I'm determined no one is going to stop me from writing you every day even if the letters do have to be short. I'll try to make them as sweet as possible though, my darling, to compensate for their brevity.

Perry's Grandmother Marion Atwood Manwaring (center)
with some of his sisters, aunts, and cousins, Vernal, Utah

I received a letter from my grandmother the other day and she told about Raymond Cottom and Laura Van Cott visiting them. She said they told all about you and what a sweet, lovely wife I had, etc. etc. etc. Of course nobody knows that nearly as well as I do. I surely do wish we could go back there for a visit and let them see for themselves too. We will some day too.

Darling, I just got through re-reading a lot of your old letters. They were the ones about how blue you got when you didn't get any mail from me for so long. I want you to know that when you don't get mail regularly it is unavoidable and no fault of my own. That's why I'm keeping on writing now so that you will have several letters to compensate for the few days you won't receive any. I'm trying as much as I can to write you every day as I said I would.

It really thrilled and inspired me to read your letters over again, my darling. Even to know how much you missed my letters was in itself quite a thrill. Darling, to really know that I have someone as sweet and lovely as you who loves me gives me the greatest joy one could possibly have. And my highest ambition is to live to be worthy of it all and to make or cause you to love me even more.

Sweetheart, I am so thankful for you and so happy we got married when we did. I only want now to be able to be with you forever so we can be completely happy and fulfill our dreams. I need you my love. "It is not good for man to be alone."

I'm surely hoping I'll have several letters waiting from my darling when we are able to get mail again. It is those little words from you that keep me going and with hope for each new day. I love you my sweetheart. Always, Perry

May 19, 1945 (Saturday evening)

My Sweetheart Perry,

I received your letter of the 15th this morning (noon rather.) Darling, you made me feel so bad for not writing you oftener that I just cried. Oh Perry, it has been so almost impossible to sit down to write. I can hardly concentrate while the baby is up and around. It's so confusing in this house. But my dearest, I think of you constantly--every hour of every day and am so miserable when I can't write you and take more time to express my thought to you.

I haven't been very happy for several days cause I haven't had much time for myself. I've become so nervous too. I would like so very much to have a place of my own. Hope I can find something--think it would relieve Mother some too. She will have the baby over here most of the time. Emily has a job now, downtown. She wants to save some money too before Dick comes home. He tells her he will probably be coming home in ten months.

But oh how I pray that the war will be over soon--very soon for I don't know how I can go on much longer without you, my Perry. Mr. Taber has asked Viola and I to take two weeks off in June. I almost feel as tho I should try to get another job. It would pay, I think. This work is so irregular and therefore not very profitable tho I do like it.

Today I worked till 1:00 pm then came home. Nellie came over for awhile. She wanted me to go home with her and stay all night, but I wanted to write you and to be alone if I could so I told her I would come another time. Anyway, I shall see her again in the morning at church.

Soon I shall go wash my hair and take a bath and see what I shall wear tomorrow. The weather has been so cool here lately even if the sun does shine bright. I do wish it would get warm soon. Will try to get this letter off to you tonight, darling, so will stop here.

Always remember, my lover husband, I love you with all my heart and soul--more than I can express in words. Your own devoted wife, Gene



May 19, 1945

My Sweet and Lovely Wife,

Tonight I am here with you again hoping I'll be able to adequately express my love to make it seem ever new and genuine. I wish I had one of you letters here to help me. It is really a beautiful day today, so calm, and the water so smooth. It's so blue and looks so cool I really think I'd like to take a swim, but then that's out. The ocean is all right as long as you are in sight of land, but more than that is not for me. I think the most desirable is to have my feet planted firmly in "the good earth." Guess I'm not a very enthusiastic sailor, am I. My main objection is that it takes me so far and so long away from my love. The main thing is just to be with you, my darling. I think I could learn to put up with most anything else.

Sunday, May 20th

Didn't get to finish this, sweetheart. I spent most of the night up so I was plenty sleepy today. I slept nearly all morning. It was so hot I didn't rest very well though and when I woke up, I could hardly move and I felt achy all over. After walking around awhile in the fresh air, I soon felt fine though that certainly isn't the kind of Sunday nap I like.

To make it worse, I didn't even realize it was Sunday until noon. That's pretty bad, isn't it, and Sunday always used to be the best day of all--especially when I think of those Sundays I spent with my sweetheart. I can just almost see us now walking down Adams or Flower Street and the sun shining down so warm. Then your mother would have such a nice dinner for us and we wouldn't do anything all afternoon but be lazy.

I can remember those times almost as plain as though it had happened yesterday and yet it seems so long ago. I certainly pray for the day when I can quit living on memories. It is good to have pleasant memories, but alone they are not enough, not nearly enough for complete happiness. We should be able to get our happiness from living in the present and use the past only as its experience will help us now and our memories as a background to illumine the even greater future.

Well, that all sounds very good, but it just isn't possible without you, my darling. It is only with you, my sweetheart, that I will ever be able to live a complete and happy life and realize my heart's desires. Gene, your husband loves you very, very much and is so thankful for you.

Sweetheart, I have to get up pretty early, so I will have to leave you now and get some sleep. You will remain in my heart though and even in my sleep we are still together. Love and more love, Perry

I don't expect any more mail from you for a while

May 16, 1945

My Darling Wife,

Today I received the letter you had written the day before the one I received yesterday--so as I was afraid, I am sorry I wrote you the way I did yesterday. I know it isn't always your fault when your letters don't reach me as I expect they should.

Darling sweetheart, I hope that letter won't make you feel badly or make you think I criticized too hastily, which I suppose I did. And I certainly don't want you to miss any of your chorus practice to write me, especially since you have your girl friend, Nellie, interested. I want you to have plenty of entertainment, but I hope you'll make time to write me often too. I'm afraid this letter will arrive rather late, but I hope you will forgive me, my darling.

Perry's best friend from high school,
Clyde Wahlquist and his first little girl

I don't expect any more mail from you for a while and you won't get any from me either for a while, but I'm going to go right on writing every day so you will still have a letter for each day when they do arrive. I finally am getting some mail from Clyde. They are buying a home back there. He surely is "blown up" over his little "blue eyes." He said one lady told him that was the first baby she would admit was cuter than hers. (ha, ha) I'll surely be glad when we can be as happily settled. If I can ever be with you once more and for good, I'm sure I will be much happier than anyone, my sweetheart.

Darling, I have to get up pretty early in the morning so I can't write much tonight. I'll go on thinking though and let my thoughts merge into my dreams--thoughts of things like "Wilson," December 24th and 25th, etc. Also of many more yet future.

I love you my dear, sweet wife, more than I can ever begin to express in writing or by words. I only pray for an opportunity to be with you and show you. Goodnight for now, darling. All my love, Perry

May 17th 1945

My Darling Gene,
Golly, they've been keeping me pretty busy and I don't have very much time right now either, but I'm still going to write you even if it's just to tell you how darn much I love you, my sweetheart. Darling, I don't believe there has been a minute since I have been away that I haven't thought about you and longed to be with you again. I like to think about all those wonderful times we used to have and when I do, a little smile will invariably steal over my face just to remember how darn sweet and "cute" you were. Then I let my thoughts drift on into the future and I can still see you just as plain there too, darling.

That is my most favorite pastime. I try to do more than just dream of our future though. I try to plan just as much as I can, but that's pretty hard because you can only go so far in planning and then you have to start working some of those plans. I'm sure all will work out for the best in time though. In the meantime, I just content myself in having such a sweet, lovely wife and one who can understand me so well. For that I thank our Father in Heaven every day.

Darling, I know I will never cease loving you. Eternally yours, Perry

May 18, 1945 (Friday evening)

Dearest Sweetheart Perry,

I'm listening to so many pretty love songs on the radio. It makes me want you so. Remember when we sat on the couch and listened to all of the beautiful music one evening till it got dark. Oh, that was so heavenly. When will you make me that happy again? I love you so, my husband. I pray the dear Father in Heaven will bring you back to me soon.

I received your May 14 letter today. I'm so glad you are still in Hawaii and were able to attend church again. your description of the surrounding and things you saw was quite good. I could almost see you there in that beautiful place and oh how I long to be there with you. You must take me there sometime, Perry.

Your idea about putting our savings down on a little home when you return sounds wonderful, dear husband. Where is our little home going to be, sweetheart? Course I would be happy just anywhere with my lover.

Pierce Fast, Gene's brother

Nellie and I went to chorus practice again last nite. Dick Johnson directed us. We are going to sing Sunday evening. I guess you have heard of President Grant's passing away Wednesday the 16th. Sunday will be a day of memorial services in all our churches.

I worked a regular full day today--nothing exciting. Would like to go to a movie with Emily tonight. Will see if she wants to go. Tomorrow, if it is warm enough, we are going to the beach--Emily and Ricky and Nellie and I. But if it isn't warm, I'll go bike riding with Nellie.

Mother had a letter from Pierce yesterday. He is still in Germany. He sent us some pictures of himself. He has lost some weight we think. Will close now, darling. Will write you tomorrow too. God bless you and be with you always. I love you, my darling. Always your own, Gene

I am just sort of substitute living

May 14, 1945

My Sweetheart Gene,

I didn't write you yesterday, but I didn't get a letter from you either, so we are even. I went to church yesterday again and had a very good time again. I met a fellow who was in the mission field with me. I had run into him once before at Farragut and now out here. He is now an ensign. I also met still another fellow I knew at Farragut and a fellow I went to high school with. After church, five of us had a good lunch together and then did a little sight seeing.

If only Perry could have seen 8 years into the future!

Of course the service was a special Mother's Day program. Nearly all the girls and ladies wore beautiful leis. Together with the fragrance of so many flowers, green trees and shrubs, and the relaxing atmosphere of the church, it was quite an inspirational and soul stirring experience. However, appropriately enough, at the conclusion of the service they sang "Home Sweet Home" which also gave a beautiful conclusion to my feelings. Needless to say, I missed my darling all the while and wanted her by my side to enjoy it with me. Do you know how very, very much I love you my dear, lovely wife? I love you so much that I can think only of you and of the day when we can be together and realize our dreams. Until then, I am just sort of substitute living.

Yes, darling, the figure you quote for the amount of money we have in the bank sounds pretty good to me too. It would be good if we could have enough saved to make a down payment on a home when I get out of the Navy, wouldn't it?

I'm hoping I'll get a letter from you today and if so, if I have time, I'll write you again tonight. I send all my love darling. I love you with all my heart. Always Yours, Perry

May 15, 1945

My Darling Gene,

It seemed good to hear from you again. Three days with no letter from my sweet wife makes the time seem twice as long. I understand that you have had a lot of other things to do and now with Emily there you naturally have a lot to talk about. That I can understand and you are forgiven, sweetheart. I haven't always been too regular myself so I guess I can't say very much about a little neglect on your part.

I was hoping that now while I am at this place where the mail service is good and arrives so quickly that I would get a letter from you nearly every day though. The reason for my wishing this is because I have had to go without any mail from you so much, all unavoidable, that I wanted to hear from you as much as possible now before I start moving around again making it impossible to receive any mail at all.

Darling, if you will only write me for every letter of mine you receive, I will be satisfied. I realize you haven't perhaps as much time as I often have, but sweetheart, I would rather you would miss a choir practice or something occasionally.

I just this minute had quite a shock. I just heard it announced on the radio about the death of Heber J. Grant. It surely stunned me for an instant from the deep thought I was already in. Have you noticed how many of the world's notable and notorious leaders are dying around about the same time?

Sweetheart, last night I saw the show "Wilson" for the second time. Nearly all through the show I was reminiscing. I'm sure I needn't say of what or of whom I was thinking. However, I got quite a lot more out of the show this time because the other time--well, I was just quite out of this world. I wish I could have been as completely "out" this time, but I guess I will have to be patient and wait. Darling, I love you so very, very much. The only thing I want is to be with you always and forever.

By August 3, 1954, Perry and Gene had all six of their children.

That is the only thing I can think about and that is why I prize your letters so much. Sweetheart, I don't want you to feel badly about the way I started this letter. I certainly don't want to hurt you and perhaps I am wrong for writing that way. Perhaps it is just because I am blue. I try to understand everything and perhaps I'm not doing a very good job. I could understand much better though, my darling, if you could write me oftener, even if it were just a few lines. Will you darling, at least as often as you hear from me?

I love you, Perry

May 16, 1945 (Wednesday night)

My Dearest Husband,

Oh my darling, I love you so, I want you so. I pray constantly that soon, very soon, I might see you walk in the door and take me in your arms. I live for that day. I'll be the happiest girl in the whole world when that happens.

Your letter of the 12th arrived today. It was such a wonderful letter. You had received one from me and were expecting or hoping to be able to attend church again the next day (the 13th). Did you, darling? wish I could be there to go to church with you then have you show me around that pretty island. Oh Perry, I'm so jealous of those people who are there with you. I want you all for myself. Do you think you'll like such treatment when you come back? I don't intend to share you with anyone, my husband. Perry, I'm not being selfish am I? Is it wrong to feel this way?

Darling, I hope I can know when you are coming back (when the time comes) cause I would want to look my very best for you and wear something special like that sheer white blouse you like. And if you come at night, I'd wear a pretty new nightgown (wait till you see it!) instead of the old pajamas I'm wearing now.

My sweetheart, you are so good to be sending me things. I am eagerly looking forward to that surprise package you are sending me and the juicy fruit gum sounds wonderful. You don't mean you are sending me a whole carton, do you? Why not keep some for yourself, honey? I laughed when you spoke of our "jaws wagging" you little monkey. How did you guess? But of course we are talking a lot. Bet you would too if you hadn't seen someone for over 2 years!

Oh, Perry, you are going to like Emily. She is so wonderful and so brave. I know she misses Dick like I miss you, but she doesn't cry about it. Yes, I got to feeling awful blue night before last and she caught me in the bathroom crying. Then she put her arms around me and talked me right out of the blues again. I'm all right now, Perry. I just seem to take those spells about a day before my monthly period.

Emily and the baby are sleeping in their new little home for the first time tonight. She got a little bed for him. She wants to work and earn and save some money before Dick comes back. He plans on attending school at USC. So yesterday she found herself an office job that pays $120 per month. She hates to leave the baby but feels like it is necessary to work. So mother plans on taking care of Ricky for her and she will pay mother. I'm hoping it will not be too much for mother.

We have not heard from Pierce for some time now so do not know for sure where he is. I was very sorry to hear the sad news about your cousin of the Marines and I understand your feelings on hearing of it. Surely this awful war must end soon. I received a letter from Genevieve yesterday. She writes such an interesting letter and I don't know where she ever finds the time to write. I know she must be kept awful busy with that family. I must write her soon.

I'm glad you enjoyed the movie. Yes, darling, I saw "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." I liked it too. Emily and I saw Judy Garland in "The Clock" yesterday evening. It was a good picture also. It's so wonderful to get a letter from you every day. Hope I will get one tomorrow. Must go to bed now. I go to sleep each night with thoughts of you, my husband. I love you, Perry. I love you always. Your own devoted, Gene

We went all around the island

May 9, 1945

My Darling Wife,

I just returned from liberty again and it really made the day perfect to find a letter waiting for me from you. Once more I longed so much for you because some of the scenery I saw was beyond description. I just couldn't take enough of it in. I would have liked to have had you and our own car to take that same trip. We went all around the island. Maybe someday when I make my million?? I'll bring you here for another honeymoon. Of course there are plenty of beautiful places I'd like to see back there first, huh? Anyplace would be perfect as long as I were with you, my darling.

1945, Gene with little Ricky, her nephew and
first grandchild for Emmett & Leora Fast,
born to Richard and Emily Fast

You really are very fortunate in being able to find a light-housekeeping room like that. I guess Emily arrived there today--you said Wednesday. I'll bet you'll really be glad to see her again, won't you? That will be the first time you and your folks will have seen your little nephew and grandson, won't it?

Gene, I'm sure you would enjoy seeing the temple. We could enjoy it so much more together. It and the grounds are really beautiful. It isn't nearly so large as the others though. No, my sweetheart, I don't think you had better try sending any packages. I would probably move again and it would be forever catching up with me. It was just luck the other package from my sisters arrived the way it did. Don't worry, I'll give you plenty of chance to make things up when I get back. Okay?

Sweetheart, I love you so very, very much and long for you constantly. I can't describe how I miss you and long for you when I see beautiful things like I did today. We must make up for a lot of things. All my love, Perry

May 12, 1945

My Darling Wife,

I slipped up a couple of days myself on my writing so I guess I can't criticize you. I received your sweet letter yesterday that you wrote on my birthday. Darling, you need't worry about not using fluent words. Just to tell those things that are in your heart is sweeter to me than any other thing. You couldn't express yourself more fluently than just the plain expression of your love.

Sweetheart, you know I like you to write to me just the way you would talk. That is why I love your letters so much because you do just that. Oh course, there is nothing that can take the place of actually being with you and listening to you talk of those little intimacies that are so precious between us.

I just received word yesterday that a cousin of mine was killed on Okinawa. He was in the Marines. I knew him real well and we used to play together when we were kids. The news surely came as quite a blow. It's hard to think of someone I knew so well as being dead. Well, that isn't very pleasant news to write about is it? I've always said that the purpose (mainly) of writing letters is to make one feel happier when he reads them.

I saw the show "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." I really thought it was quite a cute show. I suggest you see it if you get a chance. I imagine you would like it. I think I might be able to go to church tomorrow. I surely hope so. I'm going with another LDS fellow from the ship.

I was able to buy a whole carton of chewing gum the other day. I thought now that Emily was there, your jaws would be wagging so much that you ought to have some kind of shock absorber to go between your jaws. (It's juicy fruit too.) I'm going to send it along with several other things.

My darling, there isn't much to write about. All I want to do is hold you in my arms and listen to you talk to me the way we used to. I pray constantly that the Lord might grant me that privilege soon, even if it were but for a few moments. I think that would be enough to inspire me so that I would be able to endure much better until the final conclusion of the war.

I can't answer your questions very satisfactorily though, my darling. There is only one thing I know with certainty and that is the uncertainty of everything. You know how it used to be and it is still that same way. Wish I were back there to help you fix up Emily's apartment. I think that would be quite fun. I think I would pretend it was our own.

Well, my lovely wife, your husband loves you very much. You are in my heart always and will be forever. Forever Yours, Perry

May 13, 1945 (Sunday)

My Sweetheart Perry,

It looks as tho I haven't been able to keep my promise very well this past week about writing you every day. But darling, I have tried so hard. You know the house is so full of people and so many things going on. But oh my Perry, I love you so and think of you constantly. I long for you and am praying that it might somehow be possible for you to come home soon--even if it would be for a short time. I need you so, my lover. My life is so incomplete.

No darling, there was no E-Day celebration here in the states. Everyone took it quite calmly. (We had all expected it for so long.) Besides, this war in the Pacific is still raging and I think keeps everyone pretty sober. That must end before we can do any celebrating. Everyone worked as usual--anyway I did. But I sure am glad and much relieved and thankful that at least half of the conflict is over. Maybe it will all be over soon. I do hope so.

I have been doing a lot of talking with Emily--of the past and the future too. You know, Perry, she is still my best girlfriend. I enjoy her company so much. She is such a wonderful girl. I must tell you about Saturday. I worked till noon then Nellie came down to the shop. We had lunch together and did a little shopping. Then we took the streetcar to Griffith Park. We got a couple of horses right away at the riding stables. Mine was a gentle old daple-gray horse--easy to handle. We only rode for 55 minutes. It seemed like an awful short ride, but I was so tired out when we got back and my side ached so from the galloping and trotting. Nellie is a very good rider so can show me how to ride correctly. We are going again in a couple of weeks. I think I will like riding.

Then last night after I got home and ate dinner, I wanted to write you but got started talking with Emily. We talk about the gospel and the wonderful people we have met in the church and about the experiences and strong testimonies we have heard and seen. And on and on. We even got to reading out of the Book of Mormon and another church book. Oh how I love these talks with Emily. We confide in each other too. I feel so close to her.

You know, Perry, she said she would like to be with me and help me when I have my first child. In fact, she wants us both to have a baby at the same time if that could ever be possible. Isn't she sweet. Little Ricky is such a darling baby. He looks like Dick and Emily both I think. He is just a year old and learning to walk and talk some. Oh Perry, I can hardly wait for one of my own--our own.

Today Mother stayed home with him so that Emily could go to Sunday School with me. It is Mother's Day so there was a special program put on by the children. It was so cute. It was the first time Emily had been in church for almost a year.

I wanted to take Emily and the baby to the park. She has been wanting to get him out. I told Viola and Nellie of my plan, so they wanted to go too. So we planned a picnic for the afternoon. We, Emily and I, came home and fed little Ricky and took him over (you know the park by the University of Southern California) and met viola and Nellie and Mark Miner in his car--half way there--waiting for us. So we all spent a lazy day at the park walking thru the rose garden, the museum and finally sitting on the grass in a nice sunny spot. It surely has been a lovely day.

Can you imagine Mark with four women and a child? I think he really enjoyed himself. Little Ricky really fell for Mark. He let Mark carry him around most all afternoon. We got home about 4:30 pm, then who should drop in on us but Kermit and Irene. We had a nice visit with them. You know they are my cousins who live out there in Hollywood where we went to see Aunt Rena and Virginia, remember?

We missed church tonight--it got so late and Emily had to put the baby to bed at six. So everyone started to bed at a pretty good hour tonight. But I just had to write my sweetheart before I could think of sleeping. I got your two letters of May 8th on Saturday, darling. You are so good and thoughtful to write me so ofter sweetheart. I love your letters so. Oh Perry, you know I love you. I love you more and more as each day passes. Forever and always your own, Gene

I dreamed I was out of the Navy

May 6, 1945

My Darling Wife,

I always wait until after mail call before writing to my sweetheart to see if I have any mail from her. I didn't have any today, but I've just re-read your letter I received yesterday, which makes at least the 20th time, and now I think I have been sufficiently recharged to write you. At the end of your letter you said, "I'll write you tomorrow," so I know it's in the mail someplace and I'll probably receive it tomorrow.

I didn't spend my birthday today very much different than any other day except that it was Sunday. I did do some thinking about how much I have to be thankful for. For instance, while I know this isn't a very good place or a very nice way to spend a birthday, yet it is a lot better than some other places where I could easily be and it could be spent in a lot worse ways. I hope next year I will be able to spend it with you, my sweetheart, for I know that is the only way I will be able to fully enjoy it, or any other day for that matter.

Perry and Gene visiting family in
Salt Lake City, November 21, 1946
(Something Perry can only dream
about for now)

Then I got to thinking how much has happened since my last birthday. Did you ever stop to consider how much can happen in one year? It's amazing the miracles TIME can perform if we only have patience to wait. Just think how much has happened this last year. I now have you, my darling, which is the greatest thing that ever did happen to me. When I think that way, it strengthens my hope for the future.

Darling, I love you for so many reasons. I don't know what I would do without you. You have been my inspiration all the while I have been away and I know you will be throughout all our lives and eternity. I thank the Lord every day for you my dear sweet wife. Must leave you now until tomorrow. Goodnight my sweetheart, Perry

May 8, 1945 (Tues. eve.)

My dearest Perry,

Another dear letter came from you today. You had finally received a letter from me. I'm so glad. You certainly did get pretty blue I guess for I could tell from your last letter. But I know you understand why my letters became so irregular. I hoped you would like the funny little birthday card.

Perry, you little monkey, you are just full of surprises I think. You have me guessing about the "surprise package" and now (since you have mentioned it several times) I'm so puzzled about you coming back before the war is over. Darling, I don't understand. How can you come back before that? Do you know whether that will be soon or not? Oh Perry, do you know how my hopes are soaring? Would you surprise me in that too? Oh surely you would let me know or even give me a hint. What a wonderful day that will be when I can be in your arms again, dear husband.

Well, I played "hooky" from the art shop and Viola today to help Mother finish Emily's room. Do you know I redecorated the place. I cleaned the wallpaper then painted it with Kem-Tone paint. It's a pretty pink about the shade of this paper. Then I painted the bed frame with a cream enamel. Mother is fixing the curtains and the bed. The place is beginning to look real cute now. But golly am I tired out. It was quite a job.

I guess I didn't tell you what happened about the little house we were going to rent for her. Well when the people were ready to move, Mother called the landlady, but she said she was going to rent the house to some friends. So that was that, but Mother and dad are still sort of looking around for a house to buy. Mother has sent for all the things we had stored back east in maryland. (Household goods.)

We are all going down to the station to meet Emily tomorrow nite. She is supposed to arrive at about 10:00 pm. Dick has been transferred to some island in the Persian Gulf. Looks like he is headed for China.

Must go and take my bath now and get to bed as I am so tired. Will write tomorrow. Goodnight my dearest. I love you, Perry. Your loving wife, Gene

May 8, 1945

My Darling Gene,

I didn't have time to answer your sweet little letter last night, but here I am the first thing this morning. It did seem so good to get your letter. That is the thing I look for all through the day. Some of your letters surely are perfumed up. Reminds me of being back there. Do you do that on purpose, you "little monkey?" I quite like it.

My sweetheart, I don't think you will ever disappoint me. Not as long as you do as well as you have done. I know we are both far from perfect, but because you do try so hard to please me is the reason I have loved you more and more all the time. Yes, my darling, I do understand you. It is only myself that I am worried about.

Yes, it does look like we started something at Adams. When I was there, it didn't seem like Ray Cottom was so "hot" on Laura Van Cott. In fact, he said he wasn't, and now they are married. I think they will make a pretty good couple, don't you? Give them my best wishes. I think I should write them a "congrats" letter.

No, I haven't received the candy and cookies as yet, but I probably will. It's probably still trying to catch up with me. They may still be good since you put them in a tin container. I suppose they will be having quite a celebration back in the states now that the war is over in Europe. I wish I were there to celebrate it with my darling. I will be some day though and then we will really have a celebration, won't we? Just you and I.

I surely did have a funny dream the other night. I dreamed I was out of the Navy. (It's the first time I've dreamed that for ages.) We were visiting all of our relatives back home. It was all so mixed up that it didn't make too much sense though. I was quite disappointed to wake up back in this reality.

Sweetheart, I love you so very, very much and I long so much for that day when we can be together again--the day when we can start living instead of just dreaming. Darling, tell me all the things you think and dream about. I still can't write you everything I would like to because it is too personal. I have a lot to say to you that I want only you to see or hear. I hope that day won't be too far away.

I love you my darling. Do you still love me as much as ever? Forever yours, Perry

May 8, 1945

My darling wife,

I didn't write you yesterday so I'm writing you twice today. Anyway, the movie they are having is "Since You Went Away." Do you remember when we saw it? I don't care to see it again and anyway, I would sooner be here with you. This is about the nearest I can get to you when I sit down to write (except just before I go to sleep at night.) That's why I really do love to write you, my sweetheart, especially when I have just had a letter from you to give me food for the expression of my love. I didn't get any letter from my darling tonight so I'm not feeling quite as "tops" as I otherwise would.

There isn't much news to tell you because if there was any, it would be out for me to write about. I can tell you at last though that I was at the Philippines for quite a little while. I imagine you probably surmised that though. Not much of interest happened while I was there. I did go ashore once and picked up a couple of nonsensical little souvenirs for you though. I'll be sending them to you after awhile. Does that satisfy your curiosity a little?

The main thing I remember about it was that I was very lonesome for you. The mail service was poor, very irregular, came all mixed up and kept me confused most of the time. I will always remember it though because there is where I received the sweetest letters I have ever received in my whole life. I do have such a sweet wife. Can anyone blame me for wanting so much to be back there with her?

Are they having a V-Day celebration in LA? Tell me about it if you did anything special. I imagine everyone will really have a good time. I hope they will all remember, including England and I hope Russia, that there is still a war going on out here.

Well, I won't discuss the war in this letter. I like for letters to try and get away from the war as much as possible. If I were back there though I would have one of those long discussions with your father about politics and international situations.

It's about time for me to go to bed, my darling. I have to go on watch early in the morning. I'll try to dream about you. Love and god bless you my sweetheart. Forever yours, Perry